Finding Bigfoot: The Play

A one Act, two Scene play by ADawg:

Scene 1:  It is night.  Sasquatch hunters Bobo and Renea are silently walking through the forest wearing strange looking camera set ups which point at their own faces.

Bobo:  Let me try a call.  (Cup hands around mouth) WWWWOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Cliff’s voice over Radio:  That was a good one.  Sounded just like a squatch.

(A rustling occurs off stage)

Bobo:  DID YOU HEAR THAT?!?!?!?

Renea: Yeah, I…

Bobo: SSSSHHHHHHHHH!!!!  It’s over there.  (Looks into woods with camera like device)  I’m getting a large heat signature at 2:00.  It’s right there.  I think it’s a squatch.

Renea: Or some other large mammal, maybe a deer, or a bear, or a….

Bobo: Deer and bear don’t break sticks like that when they hear humans.  I heard a stick break.  That is squatch behavior.  When they hear people talking, they step on sticks to try to show dominance.  I’m going after it.  (Takes off running in direction of noise, Renea follows)

(Grunting and the sounds of a large animal crashing through woods proceed them)

Bobo (panting heavily):  I….think….we’re….going….to….catch….

Large Bear:  RRRROOOAAAAR!!!!! (Bobo and Renea both turn and run in opposite direction with bear in pursuit).

Bobo: AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!! (Bear knocks down Bobo and mauls him.  Renea continues to run.  Bobo is left lying motionless after bear leaves).

Scene 2:  It is day.  Renea, Cliff, and a Forest Ranger are standing by the mauled body of Bobo.  The scene is surrounded by crime scene tape.

Forest Ranger:  So it was a bear and you saw the attack, right?

Renea: Yes.

Forest Ranger:  And you two actually thought it would be a good idea to chase it, causing it to attack you?

Renea:  Well, we chased something large.  We heard a noise and thought it was Bigfoot, so we chased it.

Forest Ranger:  You’re walking through the woods at night, heard a noise, thought it was Bigfoot, chased it, and got attacked by a bear?

Renea: Yes.

Forest Ranger:  What made you think it was Bigfoot?

Renea:  We made a Bigfoot call.

Forest Ranger:  You made a Bigfoot call?

Renea:  Yes, and before that we knocked some wood together?

Forest Ranger:  And that made you think it was Bigfoot?

Renea:  Well, Bobo thought it was Bigfoot, I was skeptical.

Forest Ranger:  You were skeptical?

Renea: Yes.

Cliff:  Well in my mind this proves Bobo was right.  You guys must have been chasing a Bigfoot.  Only a squatch would have been smart enough to lead you to a bear.

Forest Ranger:  (Stares incredulously at Cliff, waits for him to continue)

Cliff:  Squatches have been known to keep bears as pets and train them for personal protection.  This is definite proof of that kind of activity.

Forest Ranger:  (Begins to say something. Shakes head and decides to remain quiet)

Renea:  Well, I’m a skeptic, but based on what I saw and what you’re telling me, I’m beginning to be a believer.  That bear was definitely protecting something.  It was provoked into attacking Bobo.  I can’t think of any other reasonable explanation.

Forest Ranger:  (Shakes head again and talks into radio).  We have a body from a bear attack.  It needs removal.  (Indistinguishable response from radio)  Uh, no I don’t think the bear is a threat.  Based on the situation, I wouldn’t expect any further attacks.  It was apparently provoked…

Cliff:  By a sasquatch.

Forest Ranger:  Uhhh.  Yeah sure.

Close Curtain.