I’m a Bond fan. I have all the movies. I have all the books. To be honest, the movies are better. Probably about once a year, I watch all the movies in order from Dr. No to Quantum of Solace. A few days ago, I started this process again and last night was Goldfinger night. I always look forward to Goldfinger because it is generally regarded as the best James Bond movie of all time. Every time I watch it, I wonder why. Last night was the first time I watched it with the intent to identify why I don’t like it as much as most Bond fanatics. I’ve identified five major reasons why Goldfinger does not deserve its reputation as the best Bond film of all time.
1. Lack of exotic locales. Bond movies are known for their exotic scenery and settings. Goldfinger basically shows us a British golf course, a Swiss factory, a stable in Kentucky, and Fort Knox. It is not exactly the Greek Islands, the Swiss Alps, or the Caribbean.
2. Lack of exciting action sequences. The most thrilling moment might be the car chase in the first half of the movie. It is short and Bond ends up wrecking. In comparison, think of other great Bond chase scenes. There are the ski chases in The Spy Who Loved Me and For Your Eyes Only. There is the bobsled chase in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. What about the exotic underwater gunfight in Thunderball? There just is not any single “wow” action scene in Goldfinger.
3. Unimpressive Bond girl. I’ll give Goldfinger some props for Jill Masterson. Too bad she’s dead twenty minutes into the movie. The main Bond girl is Pussy Galore played by Honor Blackman. I know that it is the best Bond girl name of all time, but Pussy Galore is actually fairly far down the ladder in Bond girl attractiveness. Honor Blackman was 37 when she played the role and it shows. Her face is caked with make-up in an unsuccessful attempt to hide her wrinkles. If Ursula Andress from Dr. No is the standard against all Bond girls are measured, then Pussy Galore falls WAY short of the target. Not to mention I find the character herself to be just silly. She’s an annoying, tough lesbian until Bond throws her to the floor in the stable and forces himself on her, then she changes her evil ways and falls in love with him. The Bond girl aspect of Goldfinger simply sucks.
4. Bond is a bumbling idiot. In Goldfinger, James Bond stumbles his way to success in spite of himself. He is more like Inspector Cleseau than James Bond. Let’s step through the main plot points to illustrate what I mean.
o Bond gets knocked out and Jill Masterson gets killed in a Miami Hotel room.
o Bond starts out with a small success by planting a homing device on Goldfinger’s car so that he can tail him.
o After tracking Goldfinger to Switzerland, Bond gets in a car chase during which he gets Tilly Masterson killed and gets captured.
o Bond briefly escapes only to be fooled by a mirror, wrecks his car, and gets captured again.
o Bond is tranquilized and sent on a plane to Kentucky, where he is rejected by Pussy Galore.
o Bond manages to escape his cell at Goldfinger’s Kentucky stable, he figures out the evil plot, and gets a message off to his CIA buddies before being recaptured by Pussy Galore. Sounds good right? Well it comes to nothing because his message is destroyed and he’s still held captive.
o Bond has another chance to signal the CIA, but does not notice that they are watching him. Instead he has a fling with Galore. This turns out to be pretty much the key to solving the case.
o Bond is taken into Fort Knox at gun point, where his is handcuffed to an atom bomb and left to die.
o Turns out Pussy Galore saved the day by substituting Folger’s Crystals for the deadly nerve gas and alerting the CIA about what Goldfinger was up to.
o Meanwhile, Bond manages to escape the cuffs and kill the evil henchman Oddjob, but nearly detonates the atom bomb by randomly pulling bunches of wires in a clumsy attempt to diffuse the bomb. Thank goodness by this time, the Americans have busted into the fort, killed the guards, and somebody who knows what he is doing reaches across Bond and switches off the bomb.
Basically, James Bond did nothing in this movie except to get Pussy Galore to turn against Goldfinger in the end. Even in the climax at the end, Bond could have just sat on his ass and waited for the cavalry to save him. The American military would have taken out Oddjob and diffused the bomb with him taking a nap next to it.
5. Related to the item 4, the movie leaves out the most important part of the story. In the end, everything works out because Pussy Galore took care of things off screen. At some point, she single handedly foiled Goldfinger’s plot by switching the deadly nerve gas and alerting the CIA. It would have been nice to see how she accomplished this since it was the only part of the story in which the “good guys” do something successfully, but instead it is left as a deus ex machina plot twist.
Now to be fair there are a few mitigating factors that keep Goldfinger from being towards the bottom of Bond films. All things considered, when weighed against the bad, these keep Goldfinger in the average range.
1. One of the best Bond villains of all time in Auric Goldfinger. He is the perfect mix of insanity and charisma. He has no conscience, but just enough sophistication to seem human.
2. One of the best evil henchmen of all time in Oddjob. The hat weapon is original and sort of terrifying. His silence throughout the movie adds to his mystique.
3. Clearly the best Bond girl name of all time. The name is so good that Pussy Galore is usually at the top of Bond girl rankings despite the fact that she is old and annoying.
4. The best Bond line of all time, “No Mr. Bond. I expect you to die.” It is not only a classic Bond line, but transcends the films as one the best Hollywood lines ever.
5. The iconic image of the Jill Masterson’s body covered in gold paint. Absolute classic Bond moment.
6. The Astin Martin spy car set the standard for Bond gadgets. It is the best vehicle in any Bond film.
Overall, Goldfinger is a very average Bond film. It has serious character and plot problems and was not well constructed. However, its saving grace is the memorable lines and moments in the film that make some perceive it as a classic.
